Premature Ejaculation

For most males, the thought of sexual intercourse brings feelings of delight. However, this isn't so for men who suffer from premature ejaculation. Their feelings about intercourse can range from anxiety and embarrassment to frustration and dread. It's a kind of "Oh boy, more bad-times-in-the-bedroom" gloom. They and their partners might have a more enjoyable time if the penis didn't work at all and they needed to find ways of pleasing each other without it.

For years, sex therapists have held to the myth that guys who come too soon could be "cured" with something called the squeeze technique. Even though the long-term effectiveness of the squeeze technique is close to zero, the myth still survives.

Fortunately, researchers are starting to understand more about premature ejaculation. What they are finding is both confusing and fascinating.

For instance, in the past, when researchers showed men sexually exciting materials, they weren't able to find differences in the premature ejaculators from guys who can last longer. But now they have upped the ante so the situation is more like real life. Researchers have started to stimulate the men's penises at the same time that they are showing them dirty images.

When men are shown X-rated images at the same time that they are getting their cranks vibrated, nearly 60% of premature ejaculators will blow a wad right there in the research lab compared to only 5% of guys who don't have a problem with coming too soon.

There has also been a long-standing notion that premature ejaculators get sexually turned on more easily, are faster to reach a peak of sexual excitement, and aren't as aware of the feelings in their bodies as are guys who can make it into the later innings. As a result, it's been assumed that premature ejaculators stumble across the finish line without having a clue about how their bodies got there.

But new research is showing that while some premature ejaculators get harder faster, most don't. If anything, guys who come too soon tend to get wood more slowly when sexually aroused, and they appear to be just as aware of their body's level of sexual arousal as other guys.

One of the most fascinating findings has to do with which parts of the nervous system are dominant during sexual activity. When normal ejaculators get erections, their heart rates actually slow down. This is because arousal falls under the influence of part of the nervous system called the parasympathetic. But, when they are about to ejaculate, the other part of the nervous system starts to dominate and their heart rates speed up.

Not so with premature ejaculators. When a guy who comes too soon gets sexually aroused, his heart beat is likely to speed up from the moment he starts to get hard. For him, sexual arousal tends to be dominated by the "ejaculate now" part of the nervous system. This puts him on the verge of ejaculating from the get go, and it can make it more difficult for him to even get an erection.

As for the emotions involved, it's no surprise that men with premature ejaculation feel more embarrassment, guilt, tension, worry, anger and annoyance about sex. The big question is, which is the chicken and which is the egg? Is it the man's experience of coming too soon that makes him feel anxious, tense, worried and angry about his sexual experiences? Or were these feelings part of his personality before he ever started having sex, and are they what create the conditions in his body that make him come sooner than later?

Also, when we are subjected to a particular kind of stimulation for prolonged periods of time, we tend to habituate to it. As a result, it has less of an impact on us. But guys who come too soon aren't in the game long enough to habituate to high levels of sexual stimulation. There is no success to help breed more success.

While there are drugs around the corner that will theoretically delay ejaculation, it could end up that a combination of drugs, such as clomipramine and Viagra might actually be the thing that helps some guys. The clomipramine would help to delay ejaculation and the Viagra would help to change the dynamics of the arousal and erection process.

Even if the "right" drug or combination of drugs can be found, the intimacy of prolonged intercourse is something that many men with premature ejaculation have never experienced. Suddenly being able to last eight or twelve minutes might bring with it it's own anxiety. Fence-mending may also be required for the couple whose sex life has contorted itself around a penis that never knew how to wait for pleasure.

One thing that's known for sure is that there is virtually no way that most guys who come too soon can will themselves to last longer. I wish I could recommend a treatment protocol for men who are tried and true premature ejaculators, but I can't at this time. I suspect that within a year there will be more options, which is a good thing. But even then, it is unlikely we will see a slam-dunk. It is too complex of a problem and there is a lot we still don't know.

Either way, I will keep you posted.

Resources:

Just about anything by David L. Rowland is where you will find the most interesting research on premature ejaculation. Thanks also to Joe Marzucco, Ph.D. for making me aware of Dr. Rowland's research.