Sex When Menstruating
According to a 2002 study from Yale School of Medicine, sexual activity, orgasm and tampon use during menstruation seems to help lessen the risk of developing endometriosis. However, rumor has it there are couples who enjoy sex during a woman's period for other reasons as well. Here are some tips that you might find helpful.
Oral Sex during Menstruation
Some couples are fine with oral sex while the woman is menstruating; others wait a few days until the menstrual flow has stopped. Here are four possibilities if you don't want the mess but don't want to wait:
- Use TAMPONS. A woman who is menstruating can splash some water into her vagina in the shower, and then insert a tampon before a man goes down on her. The tampon will usually catch most of the flow, assuming that you don't attempt to tickle the woman's cervix with the tip of your tongue. If you douche, which might do more harm than good, consider using a gentle solution with a lower pH. Also, do not use tampons during intercourse.
- Wear a DIAPHRAGM. Some women get a diaphragm for the sole purpose of having sex during their periods. The diaphragm becomes a barrier that traps the menstrual flow. Some couples take it out for intercourse, because they like the feeling that the menstrual flow provides.
- Use INSTEAD or the DIVA CUP These are tampon-alternatives that fit over your cervix in the same way as a diaphragm. They work well for oral sex and intercourse during your period. Pop one in before oral sex and it will catch most if not all of the bloody flow. These are not for birth control.
- Throw PLASTIC WRAP over it. A simple way of dodging menstrual flow is by putting plastic wrap over the woman's vulva before going down on her. You'll need to experiment with ways of making this feel right. A little lube between the clitoris and plastic wrap might help.
Sexually Transmitted Infections: While plenty of people are willing to speculate, little if anything is known about the true risks of doing oral sex on a woman who is menstruating. A conservative approach is in order if you are not in a long term monogamous relationship or if the woman has any sexually transmitted infections. You should never do unprotected oral sex on a partner if you have a chancre sore or active oral herpes in your mouth, or if your partner has a herpes outbreak on his or her genitals.
Intercourse During Menstruation
Some people fear having intercourse during a woman's menstrual cycle. But menstruation causes absolutely no harm to either partner. In fact, the contractions of orgasm seem to push accumulated fluids out of the uterus which may help decrease menstrual cramping.
Intercourse with a menstruating woman sometimes feels extra-nice for the following reasons: 1. The vagina might be super-lubricated due to menstrual secretions. 2. The added menstrual swelling might help a woman have a really intense orgasm. 3. Some women get extra-horny during their periods; this might have to do with a change in hormones, or perhaps they feel more relaxed since it's harder to get pregnant, although pregnancy is still a risk.
As for the aesthetics of midperiod intercourse, sheets with menstrual lovemaking on them usually wash clean, but so what if they don't? Guys shed that much blood during a hard-fought game of football and consider it a sign of courage.
Here are things that some menstruating women find helpful before having intercourse:
- Put a towel down to catch the flow!
- If one or both of you doesn't like the mess but still loves the intimacy:
- Wear a DIAPHRAGM. This stops most of the flow for the guy who doesn't like to see blood on his penis. However, some couples really like the way intercourse feels during a woman's period.
- Use INSTEAD. This is an over-the-counter alternative to tampons that fits over your cervix in the same way as a diaphragm. The people who make it say it's great for intercourse during your period. NOTE: While the DIVA CUP is similar to Instead and works well for oral sex during menstruation, it is shaped and worn somewhat differently. The people who make it do not recommend it for intercourse. As the manufacturer says: "The DivaCup is bell-shaped and worn low near the vaginal opening. It should be removed before intercourse." Neither the Diva Cup nor Instead provide any protection from pregnancy or STIs.
- Try having sex in the shower.
- Try using the female condom.
- If intercourse or oral sex during a woman's period isn't for you, you can always get each other off by hand, by using a vibrator or dildo, or you can enjoy watching each other masturbate.
- Anal sex can be an option if both of you enjoy it, but it's hard to think that a woman who enjoys anal sex would have a problem with vaginal sex while she's on her period.
- Important Health Note: Do not wear tampons while having intercourse! You may end up in an emergency room trying to get it fished out.
- Birth Control: Yes, you can get pregnant from having intercourse during a woman's period, so be sure to use birth control.
Regarding Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs): You will find lots of warnings about increased chances of getting STIs when having intercourse with a woman who is menstruating. However, there aren't exactly gobs of studies that show this to be the case. So unless your health care professional advises otherwise, the same rules should apply for sex during a period as when having sex at any other time--if you aren't in a long term monogamous relationship or if your partner may have an STI, use a condom or other barrier types of protection at all times whether a woman is menstruating or not.
On all matters of a medical nature, please consult with your healthcare provider about your particular situation.
