z Gay & Bi Men in the Military

Our survey-takers are apparently not typical, as there wasn't a single one who said he or she felt homosexuals were a concern for them in the military. None reported feeling stared at while in the showers, and none listed homosexuality in others as a cause of concern.

There does appear to be a very well hidden, and perhaps significant, gay and bisexual culture in the military. The men and women who are part of this culture take extreme measures to keep it hidden. It's nothing for them to drive hours from a base to a private gay club, where there is little likelihood that they will be found out.

How you define "homosexual" in the military is interesting. For example, there is the navy term, "It ain't queer unless it's tied to the pier," which indicates a different set of standards for what happens on land, where women are plentiful, and what happens on board ship. There is also an old military joke that defines a "buddy" as a guy who will go off base while you are restricted to base, get himself two blow jobs, and come back and give you one. So it is possible that when you do find same-sex activity, the operative terms should be "bisexual" rather than "homosexual," unless indications are to the contrary.

It can be dangerous for any man or women in the military to not date or have "girlfriend" or "boyfriend," as they risk being perceived as gay. Gay officers have to be particularly careful, as other officers' wives are constantly trying to set them up. A "stunt babe" is a woman who poses as a gay soldier's girlfriend at military events and whose picture he keeps on his desk. She is the military equivalent of a "beard," who is a friend or acquaintance who pretends to be a romantic interest when your parents are in town.

The smarter commanders in the military turn a blind eye to casual reports of homosexual activity. They don't want to deal with it and they don't want to lose some of their more qualified people to a modern day witch hunt. There is even a "queen-for-a-day" exception in legal proceedings if the homosexual conduct is considered to be highly unusual activity for the person who was doing it.

Gay service members are most likely to be outed by homophobic soldiers or groups like the KKK or Aryan Alliance, which are both active in the military.

We were told by the agency that places books for sale on military bases that they would not consider the "Guide To Getting It On!" because it had a chapter on homosexuality. Mind you, the book is used in more than 50 college sex ed courses and its gay chapter is less than 12 pages out of 854. And that was the prior 4th edition. Good thing they didn't see the current 5th edition, what with its new chapter on Sex in the Military!

As for finding homosexuality in the military, it seems to depend on whether you are straight or gay. For many straights, it was invisible; to many gays and bisexuals, it was clear and apparent.

"It's somewhat expected that everyone will date; if you don't date, coworkers will assume you're a homosexual. While this is very seldom true, it is a stigma." male age 47

"While on ship, I had sex with as many guys as I wanted and as often as I wanted it. I had sex with men and women--in deep corners and heck, even in the barbershop once!" male age 31

"There were very few homos onboard ship. It was never a concern." male age 43

"A lot of military in Washington use Craigslist. You would see men on the site advertise for women at first and then as the day went on and the posting came later and later you would see the same men advertising for any sex. Some of them wanting their first homosexual experience. These were guys in their early 20s, in their sexual prime."male age 24