Tropical Beach Party in Winter

So you like the idea of the tropics, but it's the middle of winter and who can afford a trip to Tahiti? Why not have a tropical beach party at home?

Spread out the blanket, put on your bathing suits, simulate your own sunlight with a heat lamp and blast some island tunes. Don't forget your favorite sunglasses to wear while enjoying cool and refreshing tropical island drinks.

Rub some lotion on each other to decrease the chance of sunburn and increase the chance of romance.

COST

From $10 to $50, depending if you have the liquor, lotion, heat lamp, and ukulele tunes handy or need to buy it all.

LENGTH OF DATE

Two hours if you don't hula; all night long if you do.

CREATING A TROPICAL BEACH IN YOUR LIVING ROOM

We're not suggesting you dump five-hundred pounds of sand between the couch and TV, but a little creativity on the tropical side is definitely in order. For instance, you might get some poster paint and create large palm trees on butcher paper that you can hang on the walls. If you can find real palm fronds, all the better, or call a theatre arts supply house if there is one in your area and see what they charge to rent fake palm trees. You can also put one of those cheesy plastic leis around your date's neck as soon as the door opens. And then there's the background music...

ISLAND TUNES

Whether it's the sound of Don Ho or a ukulele ensemble with islanders singing in the background, tropical tunes are a must or your tropical beach will be a bust. For an excellent update on Hawaiian music and a list of places to order it from, have your keyboard hula over to www.hawaii-music.com.

You can also phone Hawaii Calls/Hula Records at (808)485-2294 or (800)756-4852. They will try to sell you the Sounds Of Paradise—Tropical Sea, Sixty Minutes of Ocean in Paradise with natural subliminal messages—you know, upbeat affirmations such as "I am cool," "People like me," and "I look good in my Speedos."

HULA LESSONS ON VIDEO

Hula over to www.activevideos.com/hula.htm to get Hula for Everyone—Your Complete Hula Lesson; $24.95. Each lesson progresses from simple movements to those with increased difficulty and speed. Before you know it, you'll be putting on your grass skirt and doing the hula with the best of them. There's also Hula for Children; $19.95.

Check out iahs.com/publishvinstruction/vinstruct1.html for How To Hula, #V157; $30.00. You'll start with basic foot and hand motions, then do complete choreographies for three popular Hawaiian songs. You can also get How To Hula Companion Book, #B213; $15.00.

For those of you with a more classical bent, there's the junior high school traditional ballad Come On I Wanna Layyou as performed by the big island's Men's Floral Ensemble, with a free downloadable cutout grass skirt. Available someday at WalMart and Target while supplies last.

ISLAND FOOD

If you like to cook, try your hand with some Tropical recipes. Fresh fish is very tropical, but who can find that in the midwest in the middle of January? Keep it simple and serve sliced tropical fruit: pineapple, mango, kiwi and whatever you can find at the market that looks tropical. An alternative is to order in from a Polynesian or Caribbean restaurant.

ISLAND DRINK RECIPES

Pinas Colada

2 ounces rum
1 ounce banana liqueur
juice from 1/2 of a lime
1/2 teaspoon sugar
2 ounces pineapple juice
1/2 ounces coconut cream
1/2 cup crushed ice
insulin as needed

Toss everything in a blender and let it whine until the contents are nice and smooth. Pour into a chilled cocktail glass.

Margarita

3 ounces tequila
1/2 ounce triple sec
juice from two freshly squeezed limes
ice cubes
two lime slices
Margarita salt (coarse salt)

Rub the rim of a cocktail glass with a lime slice. Dip it in salt. Pour the tequila, triple sec, ice and lime juice into a blender. Blend until smooth. Fill each glass, garnish with lime and leave your inhibitions at the blender. You can also do it on the rocks without blending.

Strawberry Daiquiri

2 ounces light rum
1 cup fresh or frozen strawberries
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/2 ounce lime juice
1/2 cup crushed ice

Put everything in a blender and blend on high until smooth. Pour into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with strawberry. (Did you know the Daiquiri was named after a town on the coast of Cuba?)

Tequila Sunrise

1-1/2 ounces tequila
4 ounces orange juice
a dash of grenadine
ice cubes

Pour the tequila over the ice. Pour in the orange juice and stir. Add a dash of grenadine, but don't stir it in. You're going for the sunset effect as the grenadine ripples its way to the bottom of the glass.

Mai Tai
See the recipe in the MAKE YOUR OWN VOLCANO date.

GET LEID AND BLOW YOUR TOP—TWO DATES IN ONE

Enjoy a delightful hour or two under the tropical sun in your living room beach, only to find yourselves suddenly confronted by the eruption and chaos of a giant volcano. Yes, this is exactly what will happen if you combine this date with the MAKE YOUR OWN VOLCANO date. What will you do to save your kitchen and bedroom —ah, the peaceful village below that lies in the path of the deadly lava flow? Island lore (via Hollywood, anyway) has it that a virgin princess must be sacrificed to save the only place that has been your people's home since your forefathers taught your foremothers to play the banana-shaped flute. May we suggest tropicalcolored condoms to aid in the ceremony?

TROPCIAL-FLAVORED LUBE

The folks at www.goodvibes.com and www.blowfish.com sell sex lubes with tropical flavors such as juicy fruit and passion peach.

DESIGNATED DANCER

It's not the idea that you'll be drinking some of the most deceptively intoxicating drinks on the planet that worries us. It's the hula thing. Have you ever tried to drive after doing the hula? If your date isn't spending the night, part with a few of your precious pukas and call a cab.