Traditional Picnic

If we need to sell you on the merits of stretching out on a blanket with your date in a beautiful park or meadow and having a picnic, then this date is clearly not for you.

The key to having a fun picnic is to keep the menu simple and to do enough planning and preparation that your date thinks you've really got it together.

For instance, any food with mayonnaise in it needs to be kept in a cooler. If you are bringing sandwiches, it's an excellent idea to bring the mayonnaise fresh from the market in a small, never-opened jar and wait until you are ready to eat before putting it on. This will help keep the bread from getting soggy, and it will help keep your date from remembering you as the person who landed him or her on the toilet for a short but miserable eternity. Easier yet are the sealed plastic mayonnaise servings that they have in sandwich shops.

COST

From $10.00 to as much as you want to spend, depending on what you have, what you need to buy, and what you want to bring. The average picnic for two should run around $20.00.

WHERE

Parks are the most likely place for a picnic. They are easily accessible and usually have a bathroom nearby. A bench overlooking a beautiful landscape is always nice, as is a mountain top, the shores of a river or lake, a rooftop, or even your own backyard. Indoors is also an option. You can always have a picnic at your or your date's office, or even in your living room.

It is always wise to check out the location ahead of time. Having to spend hours driving around looking for a picnic spot is not going to impress your date, and if it does, you are aiming way too low.

WHEN

The nicest time of the year for a picnic is usually during summer. However, this is when the flies and mosquitoes are at their nastiest, so don't forget to bring insect repellent. Spring and Fall can be wonderful times for a picnic, but be prepared for weather conditions that change more quickly than during the summer.

WHAT TO CARRY IT IN and WHERE TO GET IT

The wicker basket is to the traditional picnic as the intercontinental ballistic missile is to the nuclear warhead. There are, however, other delivery devices such as a backpack, buckets or pails, or a small cooler if your food needs to be kept cool. An insulated backpack with an ice pack also does a fine job of keeping food cool. Most department stores, discount stores and garden centers have picnic baskets. But look around the garage for something suitable before going out and spending $50 on a picnic basket.

To order a picnic basket or picnic backpack online for $35 and up, you might try www.dannick.com/picnic/.

WHAT TO BRING

In addition to the container that you are carrying the picnic in, you'll also want to bring the following:

A blanket to sit on. If the ground is wet or cold, bring a tarp to put under the blanket. Bring extra blankets if the weather is chilly. If you think it's within the realm of possibility that one of your naked backsides is going to be making contact with your picnic blanket, make sure it's not a surplus, recycled-wool, army-issue number.

For silverware, plastic is easiest. For cups or glasses, also stick with plastic. They've got some really decent-looking plastic cups that you can buy.

Remember to bring napkins and/or paper towels, as well as a small garbage bag for trash. A couple of wet wipes might be nice. You can usually get a ten-pack from the market. They're often kept next to the 99¢ samplers of things like shampoo and deodorant.

Bug spray is a must in a lot of picnic areas. And if you plan on being there awhile, it never hurts to include toilet paper.

If it's a remote area and the chemistry is promising, bringing condoms and lube might be a good idea, but you don't want to be so obvious as to pack them in with the sandwiches or potato salad.

WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BRING

The one thing you don't want on a picnic are ties to the world you are hopefully leaving behind. This means no cell phone. Leave one in the car if you like, or if you simply can't part with it, at least turn the ringer and vibrator option off. Otherwise, what's the point in trying to get away?

POSSIBLE PICNIC CUISINE

The Standard, Traditional Picnic
A historical argument can be made for bringing fried chicken and potato salad to any picnic. However, this takes way too long to prepare and should only be considered if frying chicken is second nature to you or there is a restaurant your know of that makes great fried chicken for takeout. You'll also need to keep the chicken cold enough to frustrate the gnarly little organisms that create Botulism.

The Sandwich Option
Sandwiches are a good choice for a picnic. They are easy to make and easy to take. You can do them yourself or order from a deli. You can make different kinds of sandwiches and sample some of each, or ask your date what his or her favorite sandwich is.

Deli or Mediterranean
Why not go to your local deli and order different types of salads to eat at your picnic, or try some sausages, pates, sliced meats, fruits or cheeses and a baguette of French bread?

Wine and Cheese
You can pack a bottle of wine or fill a thermos with wine and bring cheese and crackers. Don't forget the glasses and opener. The Thermos is a good idea because you don't have to worry about an opener and you can keep the wine cool without having to pack it on ice. On the other hand, if it's a $20.00 bottle of wine, it might rip your heart out to pour it into a thermos and maybe you should find a way to pack it on ice if it needs to be chilled.

With Your Fingers
A picnic made up of finger foods provides the opportunity to feed each other.

Sweets for Your Sweet
If you'd like to give your pancreas a workout, pick up a number of desserts from the bakery and make them the culinary star of your picnic. Avoid desserts that melt easily, especially those with ice cream or something frozen inside. Chocolate can melt when it's warm, even the chocolate in chocolate chip cookies, so keep them cool on the way to the picnic.

Last Resort
You can always check out what's in your cupboards that could be eaten at your picnic.