A Date With Shakespeare

Whether it's Bard on the Beach in Vancouver or the Shakespeare Festival in Idaho, Shakespearean plays and festivals offer enough murder, incest and betrayal to make for a fine evening out. Imagine taking your date to a Shakespearean Festival this week after last week's intimate gathering at the county fairgrounds for the Mud Drags & Tractor Pull? Talk about demonstrating what a well-rounded, fun-fanatic you are.

If you are the type who finds Shakespeare to be an intellectual stretch, keep in mind that Captain Picard on Star Trek—The Next Generation was a fine Shakespearean actor before taking the helm of the Enterprise. And it's hard to think that Shakespeare would have wanted it any other way.

Also keep in mind that just because a play was written by Shakespeare or is performed by an acclaimed Shakespearean company, doesn't mean it's a guaranteed good time. Try to avoid Shakespearean yawn fests by reading the reviews before buying the tickets, if you can.

COST

Prepare to part with thy savings, yon dating lads and wenches... Good Shakespeare ain't cheap. You'll probably pay from $30 to $50 for each seat, although be sure to ask about discounts and special performances. For instance, the Sunday performance at 5:00 might be offered at a 10% discount.

LISTS OF SHAKESPEAREAN FESTIVALS

For an impressive list of shakespearean festivals around the country, try the following sites:

www.unc.edu/depts/outdoor/dir/shakes.html
www.shakespirit.com/links/index.php3
www.theatrejobs.com/

RESOURCES

The website of the Utah Shakespearean Festival is taut with wonderful descriptions of Shakespeare's plays and the times they address. Make digital hither to www.bard.org (click on "education").

You'll find hundreds of fine books on Shakespeare showcased on www.shakespearemag.com, the website for Shakespeare—A Magazine for Teachers and Enthusiasts. Click on "Infinite Book" in addition to everything else on this site.

Want to rent a Shakespearean movie? Be sure to read an excellent rating of the top ten Shakespearean films of all time on E-Online's website at www.eonline.com/Features/Topten/Shakespeare. There's another list at www.geocities.com/zorikhl/movielist-shak.html.

SHAKESPEARE'S WORDS AND COMMON USAGE

"Shakespeare employed more words than any other writer in history —more than 21,000 different words appear in the plays—and he never hesitated to try a new word, revive an old one, or make one up. Among the words which first appeared in his works are such everyday terms as "critic," "hurry," "bump," "assassinate," "gloomy," and "suspicious." He invented literally dozens of phrases which we use today: such un-Shakespearean expressions as "catching a cold," "the mind's eye," "elbow room," and even "pomp and circumstance." (From the "education" section of www.bard.org.)

CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE FESTIVAL?

Why not have a special Shakespeare-in-your-livingroom evening? Consider the following:

SHARING SHAKESPEARE'S INSULTS—Here's a date where you read to each other your favorite Shakespearean Insults. A fine resource is Shakespeare's Insults : Educating Your Wit by William Shakespeare, Wayne F. Hill, and Cynthia J. Ottchen; $12.00 or free from the library. We're talking 323 pages packed full of Shakespeare's finest zingers such as the following which are from Shakespeare's plays: "King of codpieces, pernicious bloodsucker of sleeping men, loathsome leper, cut-throat dog, infinite and endless liar, mortal wretch, venomous fool, saucy eunuch, odd worm, fat and greasy citizen, ill-fated virgin, pratting peasant, unfeeling fool, old crab-tree, Triton to the minnows, old goat, kitchen trull, unspeaking sot, adulterate beast, man of falsehood, fat-kidneyed rascal, puke stocking, madheaded ape, white-bearded Satan, whoremaster, son of darkness, stuffed cloakbag of guts, prick-eared cur of Ireland, dunghill groom, hag of hell, Amazonian trull, quicksand of deceit, roastmeat for worms, beauty's canker, elvish-marked abortive rooting hog, slave of nature and the son of hell, defiler of Hymen's purest bed, one light of brain."

WILLIAM'S SEXUAL PUNS—Looking for new terms to use when begging your date for sex? Share an evening reading to each other from A Dictionary of Shakespeare's Sexual Puns and Their Significance by Frankie Rubinstein; Paperback; $21.95. Unfortunately, this incredible little classic tends to be difficult to come by—actually, it's pretty easy to come by once you're able to locate a copy—but that's how it goes when you're dealing with puns. This book seems to be out of print as often as it is in print, so check with your library or call around.

BAWDY TALK—Here is another classic that may take some effort to find, but you and your date can't go wrong giving each other an oral feast with treats from Shakespeare's Bawdy Talk by Eric Partridge; $12.95. This book was one of the first explorations of Shakespeare's prolific use of Elizabethan smut, and it remains one of the finest. As the reviewer from Amazon.com says, this book "puts the nudge and wink back into Shakespeare.