Step Away From The Vacuum!
Earlier this year, a Michigan man pleaded no contest to indecent exposure in a sex act involving a car wash vacuum. The man was sentenced to 90 days, but the Judge mentioned nothing about hard labor.
Sometimes the best part of the story are the reader comments. We have compiled this list for you from newspaper websites:
I'm glad he decided to come clean!
Just out of curiosity, what do you, as a police officer, say to a man who's got his dick in a car wash vacuum? "You have the right to remain... No, no, go ahead and finish."
Reports suggest that the man is now the proud father of two Oreck XLs.
So was he cheating on his vacuum at home? Was this one so much better?
We're facing hard times in Michigan, and 3 minutes with the local Turbo-Suck vacuum is cheaper than a whore.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
I wonder if he paid extra for the hot wax.
I hope they replace the vacuum... or at least the hose.
I hope he wore a condom.
Step away from the vacuum!
Holster your weapon.
"You cheated on me by paying some skanky hose?
Wow, sucks to be him, huh?
Honey, if you need me, I'll be downstairs, with the shop vac...
I wonder if they have a code for that... "I've got a 613 in progress down at the sudsy cleaners."
To be fair to the guy, it WAS a triple-bag easy-glide vac with turbo-suction and a self-emptying dustbag.
It's only a sin if they were not married!
It was probably a terrible blow job, I mean the machine is clearly a carpet muncher...
Car wash vacuums aren't known for being weak. Those things suck up everything including loose change and other heavy objects. That would be painful as hell.
The vacuum was asking for it! Just look how it dresses and just stands there.
Sometimes you just see that vacuum cleaner and you cant help but think "Damn that would be a good lay"
That dude got hosed.
He has attachment issues.
Is the vacuum pregnant?
Are they going to charge him with paying for sex too since it is a coin-op vacuum?
Incidentally the vacuum was arrested for solicitation after it was discovered that it charged the gentleman 2 dollars in quarters for the sex act.
The idea is oddly efficient. After all there would be no cleanup to worry about.
A clear violation of his constitutional rights--he happens to be a member of the Church of Appliantology.
Don't get me wrong, this is wrong on all levels but did he really need to go to prison for that?
Maybe the vacuum raped him?
So just to clarify, it was not having sex with a vacuum cleaner that got him in trouble, it was having sex (of any kind) in a public place.
Yeah yeah you all laugh now but the real victim ie 'the vacuum cleaner' spends its days living in fear hiding behind some complex car wash machinery while its attacker walks free...
If he wore a skirt, maybe he could avoid the "exposure" part?
Since he had to pay the real crime was solicitation, correct?
